Friday, May 21, 2010

Mexican Standoff

A Mexican standoff is a slang term defined as a stalemate or impasse, a confrontation that neither side can forseeably win. In popular culture, the Mexican standoff is usually portrayed as three or more opponents with guns drawn and ready, creating a tense situation. Neither side is willing to shoot for fear of being shot in return, yet neither side wants to relinquish its weapons for fear that its opponents will shoot them. This situation forces the participants to resolve the situation either by diplomacy, surrender, or a pre-emptive strike.

That being said, i stepped outside last night and got a whiff of that familiar summer smell. Not bbq, but skunk! I immediately go into defense mode. Where is it?! For most people that smell is just a 10 second nuisance on the highway. Just a roll em down type of reaction w/a possible holding of the nose. For me its different thanks to the one late summer night 2 years ago.

It was late, the sox went long and i was so tired. But gotta let out the dogs and start the dishwasher before i get to be rewarded w/the comfy bed. So i flip on the deck light and open the screen door for Rio and Rosco. I no sooner turn around when i hear Rosco bark his deep roo roo roo roo bark combined with the fast click click click of 32 toe nails on the deck. There must be a cat in the yard. I wish! I run out onto the deck. Stop dead in my tracks when i see a skunk in the middle of the yard w/its tail up. Oh the stench! Its not the same as on the highway, ten times worse and different. I look left and Rosco is rolling around the ground, right and Rio is too. Trying to get the spray out of their eyes. Skunky isn't going anywhere, just hopping around, back and forth. I'm calling the dogs but to no avail, they aren't coming up on the deck. I just remember, i can't go out there i have no shoes on! Weird thought but there i was in a Mexican Standoff. Sure Rio and Rosco were incapacitated but any minute could've bolted up and attacked. Not good. What do i do? What would you do? I slowly crept off the deck and reached Rosco. Toss him up on the deck. Now Rio. Ah Rio, she doesn't listen to me when she is normal never mind in this situation. She is too far for me to get to, all the way on the other side of the yard. She isn't listening to me, i'm begging! Skunky still there, backing away now thats encouraging. Rio still won't budge. I look and see the skunk is looking for an exit strategy but i realize he's cornered. Thats why he's still here. Nowhere to go, fence in back, garage on side, fence on other side and me in front. Thankfully he's still backing away. But i'm talking inches. Then stops and turns. I high tail it for the deck. Nothing happened but i gotta make a move. I look around the deck. I see a small wooden deck rail that had fallen out of the side of the deck. About 15 inches long by 1 inch wide. I take it, aim and hurl it 25 feet toward Skunky. Bamm! Direct hit in the noggin, he wobbles around a little and then goes down. If this was a movie you would see the stick from the angle of being the stick, ya know twirling and heading toward him then clonk! I bolt for Rio get her up on the deck and my thought is, damn! now i have to get a dead skunk out of my yard! But wait, just as i turn around Skunky is up again! I just fazed him, knocked him out just long enough. Couldn't have planned it better. Got the dogs in the back hallway to figure out now what. Looked outside and the perp was gone.

Lets just say the smell was extremely difficult to get out of the dogs and the house and for the first few weeks while walking the dogs whenever we heard a rustle in the woods or a skunk smell we turned around and high tailed it home!


  1. Joe also failed to tell you, that Lia was just born and he's screaming for me to help him. I bolt downstairs and yell at him to stop yelling because I just got Lia to sleep. Once the dogs were in the house he ran to the computer to find out what to do to get the smell out of the dogs and then he had to run all over Clinton looking for any store that would be open.

  2. hahahaha.. to funny!!! I totally pictured all of that! :)

  3. Round two happened yesterday morning at 5:15. Rosco got the worst of it but they both stink! the entire house does. I think there was more than one skunk this time. The entire side yard was dug up, looking for grubs i suspect. My neighbor was convinced there was a skunk in her house the smell was so bad!